"Simply Type In What Free and/or What Fun thing you're looking for in the Search Bar Below" Custom Search Here you can find FREE stuff and Fun stuff! Some might not be fun, but they're free! Some may be fun, but not free. (We do believe that getting a healthy lifestyle IS FUN!) Also, Some of the things listed below are BOTH FREE AND FUN!... ENJOY! We believe in mixing business with pleasure, because if you think about it, when you're in an upbeat, happy go-lucky mood, you tend to sell more, you tend to create a better repore with people and businesses, and life just seems to come together. Not to mention it takes the "HO-HUM" Out of your day! (Also we have put together an array of jokes on this page. If you get offended easily, please don't read them!) Other than that, ENJOY & Have Fun! (Updated 09/15/10 HAVE FUN! Click Here For Farmville Secrets!! "Bid Cactus" is one of the premier online penny auctions! It's COMPLETELY FREE TO REGISTER!, where you can bid on exciting products and gift cards right from the comfort of their home! I know of someone that told me she would bid on these things, and got a laptop for around $3 and turned around and sold it on ebay for MUCH MORE! HOW FANTASTIC IS THIS! Simply click on the banner above to get started! "Summer Classes For Men" THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED by December 21, 2009 NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM Class 1 How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM. Class 2 The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself? Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours. Class 3 Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours. Class 4 Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks. Class 5 Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM Class 6 Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM Class 7 Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming. Open Forum Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours. Class 8 Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health. Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours. Class 9 Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined Class 10 Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours. Class 11 Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and role-playing Tuesdays at 7:00 PM , location to be determined Class 12 How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM. Class 13 How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours. Class 14 The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used. Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined. Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors. Send this to all the guys that you think can stand the heat, and to all the ladies for the best chuckle of their day! Best Blonde Joke EVER! A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started." Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster." Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster." He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then .." he said with a deep sigh, . .. . . . ..... . .............."Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box." "You've Got To Love A Good Nurse" A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him afterwards that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his 'private' area. Worried that it might mean a second surgery the doctors hadn't told him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown up enough, so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable. Taped firmly across his pubic hair were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off easily. Written in large black letters was the sentence: * * * 'Get well soon... from the nurse in the Jeep you pulled over last week.' Here is Another Cute Joke for you... "Speeding Ticket" An older lady gets pulled over for speeding ... Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding Older Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one. Officer: Don't have one? Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving. Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please? Older Woman: I can't do that. Officer: Why not? Older Woman: I stole this car. Officer: Stole it? Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Officer: You what? Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle. Older woman: Is there a problem sir? Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Older Woman: Murdered the owner? Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am? Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned. Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled. Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner. Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too!!!! Don't Mess With Old Ladies Curiosity Sometimes curiosity..............can be downright painful I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all of the patients were outside, shouting, '13....13....13' The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on. Someone poked me in the eye with a stick. Then they all started shouting, '14....14....14' Robbery A man walks in a bank, gets in line and when it is his turn he pulls out A gun...and robs the bank! Just to make sure he leaves no witnesses..He Turns around and asks the next customer in line..'Did you see me rob this bank?' The customer replies, 'Yes!' The bank robber raises his gun, points it to the customer's head and BANG !!! Shoots him in the head and kills him! He quickly moves to the next customer in line and says to the man,'Did You see me rob this bank?' The man calmly responds ... 'No, but my wife did!' "A BOY'S CONFESSION" 'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'. The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey P?' 'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the girl you were with?' 'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation' Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?' 'I cannot say.' 'Was it Teresa O¢Neill?' 'I'll never tell.' 'Was it Nina Capelli?' 'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.' 'Was it Cathy McDonald?' 'My lips are sealed.' 'Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?' 'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.' The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.' Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Frank slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?' 'Four months vacation and five good leads. "Singles Net" is Online Dating Made easy! Join today's limited-time FREE Trial offer. Takes less than 30 seconds to create an account and start contacting members (Simply click on the banner above to get started! Unfortunately this banner is for males only.) Here's A Another Cute Joke For You (If You Get Offended Easily DON'T Read The jokes on this site!) LOWE'S ALERT Be Careful - A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular Home Depot customers. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends. Here's how the scam works: Two very hot 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your stuff into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead they ask you for a ride to Lowes. You agree and they get in the backseat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet. I had my wallet stolen November 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th & 29th. Also December 1st, 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd, 26th, 30th, three times last Saturday and very likely again this upcoming weekend. So tell your friends to be careful. P.S. Walmart has wallets on sale at 2.99 each The Zipper A man walked into a supermarket with his zipper down. A lady cashier walked up to him and said, 'Your barracks door is open.' Not a phrase that men normally use, he went on his way looking a bit puzzled. When he was about done shopping, a man came up and said, 'Your Fly is open.' He Zipped up and finished his shopping. At the checkout, he intentionally got in the line where the lady was that told him about his 'barracks door.' He was planning to have a little fun with her, so when he reached the counter he said, 'When you saw my barracks door open, did you see a Marine standing in there at attention?' The lady (naturally smarter than the man) thought for a moment and said 'No, no I didn't. All I saw was a disabled veteran sitting on a couple of old duffel bags.' I lie awake waiting for you. As I lie on my bed, thinking about you, I feel this strong urge to grab you and squeeze you, because I can't forget last night. You came to me unexpectedly during the balmy and calm night, and what happened in my bed still leaves a tingling sensation in me.* You appeared from nowhere and shamelessly, without any reservations, you lay on my naked body. You sensed my indifference, so you applied your hungry mouth to me without any guilt or humiliation, and you nearly drove me crazy while you drained me. Finally I went to sleep.* Today when I woke up, you were gone. I searched for you but to no avail, only the sheets bore witness to last night's events. My body still bears faint marks of your enthusiastic ravishings, making it harder to forget you. Tonight I will remain awake waiting for you......you fucking mosquito.* "FiLife" Have a financial question? Ask FiLife by Clicking on the banner to ask your question, and you could win $1,000! (They give away $1,000 each week to someone for a question!) To all my friends who in 2009 who sent me best 'wishes', chain letters, 'angel' letters or other promises of good luck if I forwarded something, NONE OF THAT SHIT WORKED! For 2010, could you please just send money, BEER, chocolate, or gasoline vouchers instead? Thank you! "Dating Advice For Men" is a program that helps men more in the dating scene! You can learn: - How to get women to chase you - How to easily and effortlessly attract the women you desire with no risk of rejection or embarrassment whatsoever - Never be confused, frustrated or taken advantage of by a woman again - Never lose a woman to a male rival again - Compel desirable women to approach you first for a date no matter your looks, age, income or social status Finish What You Started am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a Medical TV show, I have finally found inner peace. A Doctor proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of shhhardonay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of vocka, a pockage of Prunglies, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke an a box a chocolets. Yu haf no idr who fkin gud I fel.Peas sen dis orn to dem yu fee AR in ned ov inr pece. "Ipsos Survey Panel" gives you the chance to win $5,000 just for giving your opinion! "Fairies" A married couple, in their early 60's, was celebrating their 44th wedding anniversary at a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny beautiful Fairy appeared on their table. She said: 'For being such an exemplary married couple and especially at this time, I will grant you each a wish.' 'Oh, said the wife, I want to travel around the World with my darling husband'. The fairy waved her magic wand; and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II luxury liner and Ten Thousand Dollars appeared in her hands. Then it was the husband's turn. He thought for a minute and said: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. So I'm going with my mind and not my Heart '. 'I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.' The wife and the Fairy were shocked and disappointed. But a wish is a wish. So, the Fairy waved her magic wand, and - Poof! - the husband became 92 years old... The Moral of the story... Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember... Fairies are Female Four Worms and A Lesson To Be Learned!!!! A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup. The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil. At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results: The first worm in alcohol - Dead. The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead Third worm in chocolate syrup - Dead Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive. Then the Minister asked the congregation - What did you learn from this demonstration??? It just so happened that Maxine was sitting in the back, and she quickly raised her hand and said........ 'So..As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!' That pretty much ended the service! "Jane And Arlene" Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking. Arlene: What in the heck is that? Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet. Arlene: Where did you get it? Jane: You can get them at any drugstore. The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers. 'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.' The pharmacist fainted. "Best Buy" allows you to qualify EASILY for a $1,000 Gift Card! A $1,000 Gift card could buy ALOT Of presents for this holiday season! Get it while you can by simply clicking the banner above to fill out a short form, and a short survey to qualify! Enjoy! "Summer Classes For Men" THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED by December 21, 2009 NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM Class 1 How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM. Class 2 The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself? Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours. Class 3 Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours. Class 4 Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks. Class 5 Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM Class 6 Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM Class 7 Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming. Open Forum Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours. Class 8 Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health. Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours. Class 9 Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined Class 10 Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours. Class 11 Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and role-playing Tuesdays at 7:00 PM , location to be determined Class 12 How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM. Class 13 How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours. Class 14 The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used. Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined. Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors. Send this to all the guys that you think can stand the heat, and to all the ladies for the best chuckle of their day!